5 Things I’ve Learned From Motherhood

And no, I’m not talking about surefire ways to end a newborn’s cries in 2 minutes or less (though that does come in handy), or five ways to manipulate your toddler to pee on the toilet (Or even that one’s heart can grow an infinite amount of love for wrinkly, crying infants and tantrumming toddlers.)
I’m talking about answers to questions you never fathomed you’d be asking.
Here are my top 5 in order from kinda cool to “Wow, that’s awesome!
1. Is brushing one’s teeth with Oxi-Clean water a good idea? Unsurprisingly, no.  It’s a bad idea! (Thanks Boo for my first ever Poison Control call . . . FYI : 1-800-222-1222, never know when you might need it.)
 
2. What’s that up our toddler’s nose? Answer: Small baby hair clip.  Apparently not just a choking hazard.
3. Can you eat an entire pan of brownies and not gain five pounds? No.  But your child can.
4. Will eating a silica gel packet poison my poor child?  Nope, it’s apparently just a choking hazard.  Who would of thought?
5. My child’s screaming and holding their arm, what could be wrong? Apparently un-dislocating a dislocated elbow is not all that difficult, and certainly not worth the price of a doctors visit EVERYTIME it happens, even if the creepy feeling “pop” sends my stomach reeling. This skill makes me feel way cool and gets applause from those around.  I highly recommend it.
What have you learned lately?